So I'm beginning to realize that the trend in my life is not, in fact, writing, but is dancing. I am beginning to realize that when I think of function-related nouns for myself, "dancer" is as frequent as "writer". Right now, as much as I talk about dancing a lot, I am not pursuing dance. I'm sorry, I am, but I'm not. I am not pursuing dance as though it were something valuable. I am definately not pursuing writing as though it were valuable. Right now, I'm not...really...acting as though anything were valuable. Which disturbs my a great deal, because many things are extremely valuable to me. I watched Finding Neverland last night, which was good. I won't say very good, but it was well written, very well acted, and the thematic elements were ones that affect me. i.e. it made me cry [laughs] I recommend it to anyone who bothers to read blogs. that's you, by the way. It reminded me of all the things in my head, clamoring to get out. Journal entries that will never be written. Stories that may or may not be forgotten. Worlds and people and scenes that pop in and out of mental existence. Some I write a little of, like nibbling the corner of a leaf of lettuce. Some I outline, like stirring up a dish and taking a spoonful. But eat a full sized meal, following the analogy, is not something I have done for quite some time. Dancing, I go out socially, and I keep meaning to take lessons, but while I have looked some stuff up, I haven't committed any of it to mind or intention. Western style class is like studying english...I may learn a new rule of grammar, but it doesn't really affect the way I speak, and is done mostly for fun rather than any useful purpose. Tango coffeeshop is like sitting down and speaking french...I have studied it in the past, and so I am able to recognize this and that, unlike someone who has never studied french, but I can't keep up with the conversation, nor add much to it, and I don't learn much. Heh, now I'm just having fun with analogies. I no longer know if I'm a writer or a dancer, which title's stereotypical characteristics characterize me. I need to take a shower. I'll let you know what I figure out, blogger.