Ever have one of those days when the clouds are beautiful but you'd really like to see the stars? yah, it was one of those days. It was also one of those days when, upon seeing the stars, they weren't quite as bright as I remember them. And I couldn't make out any constellations. Again. I can't even find the big dipper here in Texas, which is really sad. But, I am not quite sky-savvy. I'm more of a sky connaisseur than a sky expert. I sample it at times, swish it around to get a taste, sometimes even drink a glass of sheer refracted-light delight, but I couldn't tell you much about it except that it's beautiful. No vintage stats or fluent use of proper descriptive terms. whatever. I ramble. I'm trying to use a metaphor and doing it badly. and not the subject you think. I feel like an onion sometimes not because I have so many layers, but because all it takes is peeling back one and I can't help getting all teary-eyed. "You couldn't be a vegetable...even artichokes have hearts." Amelie, good movie. At work today I got to make the spinach dip. bag of spinach and can of artichokes, then squeeze the shit out of them to break up the pieces of artichoke and to get out as much water as you can (you don't want the cheese dip to freeze like water but freeze like cheese). Then a ton of jack cheese, 24 oz of mayo, 24 oz of sour cream, an ounce of granulated garlic, and then mix with fingers. turning grated cheese, even mixed with other stuff, into a solid paste, simply by squeezing it between the fingers of your glove-covered hands is very soothing. sort of like kneading bread, I guess, though I've never actually done that (to my recollection). Charles drilled into my head, "it doesn't have to be perfect" before I started. he claims he can do it in 10 minutes, and didn't want me doing it for 45 when we had other things to do. [laughs] he knows me well. he always tries to think of nothing while he works. Or think of nothing except the job at hand. I can sometimes, but I couldn't most of today. My brain was somewhere else. I often feel like I haven't completely woken up. I mainly feel that way because I never feel like I've been completely asleep. Somewhere else that I go at night, and it isn't to my subconscious. [shrugs and shakes his head] I don't know. But the stars are a metaphor for lots of things. It's a good thing they shine, because I'd have a hell of a time if I couldn't see a damn thing when I looked up into the night sky. I think if there were an abyss, and I were there, I'd look into it because I wanted it to look back at me. I guess that pretty much sums me up. Keep shining, stars. I'm looking back. If it means nothing to you, it still means a hell of a lot to me.