So, I went dancing at midnight rodeo last night, as always. I picked up Corinne, Jake and Kristy, and had to take them home again at the end of the night. However, Jake talked me into Taco Bell, and Erin (a friend of Kat's, whom my brother knows as well) talked me into taking us for pool at Slicks. Which turned out well, because it was Bo's birthday (he's the manager, and he's the husband of one of my coworkers), so we got to say hello to him. [grins] Anyway, dance class was nice, and we did west coast swing, which I'm still not very comfortable with. Heck, why lie, I feel more comfortable with lindy hop, as of last sunday, then I do with west coast. The way they teach it makes it very hard to learn, I'm not sure why. Then the move they taught, I couldn't get it, until someone (one of the last people I danced it with) showed me the correct way. Ooooohhhhh! It's still tough and hard to remember, and I don't have the steps in my brain at all. So for lindy and west coast, I have to treat myself like a noob and practice the basic steps as much as I can, so I can get them into my head. Anyway, all these things were well and good, but the night, in which I had intended to be social and hang out with people instead of being so flighty and crazy, was ruined by a sad turn of events that I don't expect many of you to understand. The first dance I danced after class, I listened for a sec and started in on a two-step. Michelle thought it was funny. Halfway around the floor, I realized it was a Waltz. I mistook a waltz for a two-step. It floored me. I went around the floor once more but I just couldn't connect to the music and finally left the floor without finishing the dance, apologizing to Michelle. So, my determination to spend good time with friends new and old became a desire to avoid all things related to dancing, i.e. everyone and everything there, which of course depressed the crap out of me. Kat is still a saint who seems to stumble upon the right thing to say to cheer a person up, which helped me become social (though not dancing much more), but she left early because of work. Of all the other people there, though, I was surprised that Kristy was the only one to come to my rescue. Michelle bullied me into being social and dancing a little (better dances than the first one), but it didn't really alleviate anything. Cassie tried to cheer me up a little, but I don't blame her for failing; she's at a point in her life that she's trying to not become attached to anyone, live a little self-centeredly, which is fine and good except for those situations in which noticing the needs of someone else and doing what's necessary are the only things that matter (I mean, to that person). [laughs] it doesn't help that apparently people can't tell if I'm smiling or frowning if I'm not showing teeth. [sighs and shrugs] Anyway, Kristy, whom I met only a couple days ago I think, sat and talked for a little while before dragging me back over to be social. Conversation in the car helped me not go back to being depressed (Erin had her own car, and Jake and Corinne were not attached at the lips but wanted to be, so were useless in terms of meaningful or helpful conversation). [sighs] I wish I could do the same for her, but her problems are more rooted in a continuing reality than mine, i.e. her boyfriend is a loser who does not appreciate her and does not respect her interests. I'm totally ok with relationships based and kept up purely on love, but you can't say you love someone and then disparage them, make them feel bad for having interests that are not your own, make them feel angry for having felt guilty for things that are not wrong. The difference between Love and all other feelings that people have for each other is that love is selfless. Loving someone means wanting to put them first, wanting to give them everything, even the things you don't have, wanting to be with them, wanting to learn why they enjoy the things they do. You can love someone with whom you have nothing in common at all, someone you may not even be able to understand. Love is gold. "Love" that is pyrite is lust or friendship or admiration or even just fancy. And the reason that Love by itself is a poor (but not wrong) basis for a relationship is because we do often mistake it for a lesser form, and even when it is real, the other person's love for us might be a lesser form, and even when both of you truly Love each other, you might have differences that make it impossible for you to go through life together. We're human. We make enough mistakes throughout our lives, big and small. We have enough difficult decisions throughout our lives, big and small. We will love many people, both truly and falsely. We will lose and let go many people, friends and family, lovers and antagonists. And life will be over before you know it. "If a dog bites you once, it's the dog's fault. If a dog bites you twice, it's your fault."