Well, blogger, I will apologize in advance for the long post. You know how I like to talk about what is going on in my life...in detail...at the same time that I am talking about what is important to me. I will paragraph break the days since last wednesday, which is worth mentioning, despite that it was thursday at which point I stopped having free time like time to sleep and such [laughs].
Wednesday I had no work, and the plan was to pick up Kristy at 5:30, then head over to pick up Drew for dinner and midnight rodeo. Well, Kristy and I changed our plan and I went over in the early afternoon (1ish?) and we went to the mall window-shopping, then she made me watch The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, starring the guy from the Andy Griffith show, the one so good at looking awkward. Drew's plans changed because he had to work on something starting around 4, and stay there working until it was done, and he had no idea when it would end. Jake and Corinne needed rides as well (which was not really unexpected), and Drew sounded as though he would drive himself to dance class, whenever he got the chance. However, he changed plans, and instead of going home, went to my house after work (much closer to work and midnight rodeo) to shower and change into clothes he bought at Walmart on the way. I met him there, with Kristy, Jake and Corinne in tow, and I recieved an early birthday present: plaid pants. They're brown primarily, and they're khaki-pants material, so comfortable, and I was forced to wear them. Actually, they did look good. They still aren't my first choice of pants, but I can see myself wearing them again (which I would not do so if I hadn't worn them that first time). Anyway, midnight rodeo was midnight rodeo, with lots of people, and craziness, and whatever. The rest of the night was less memorable, except that Michelle brought a whole lot of coworkers this week, and she and Drew spent a lot of time talking and having fun. I had fun, but not memorable fun [laughs]. I much preferred the friend-time with Kristy earlier in the day, as midnight rodeo has gotten too hectic to be considered "hanging out" with anyone. On the drive home, I noticed that the brakes felt a little funny. Considering that they have been squeeling continuously for the past couple months (not just when braking), I didn't deem it "pull off the road and stop driving" important, but wanted to wake up the next day and get the brakes looked at finally. However...
Thursday I slept in, and when I woke up, mom was already gone out on errands and whatnot. I hit myself for not getting the brakes taken care of, but figured it would be ok. I proceeded to get on the computer, then mow the yard, and when I finished mowing, there was a message from mom. The car had started making horrible horrible noises, and she took it to brake check. Something besides the brake pads had gone out, and the alignment of the brakes had been off anyway. Half of each pad was worn, while the other half was dusty...eek! Anyway, I worked from 7-9pm doing dishes for a party, and I had to have Matt come pick me up while I showered. After work, I was picked up, got home, walked in and called Amy to see if she wanted to do tango, she did, I picked her up, and we went. Crossroads, at 10:30ish...we were the 4th and 5th people to get there, one not a dancer, closely followed by Vanessa. So, it was Derek and Miles, Amy and I, and Vanessa, and the father and son who run it wednesday nights. We had good talking, good dancing, but they kicked us out early at 11:25 to take advantage of the slow night to close early. It was very nice, and while I wouldn't say Worth the drive, I enjoyed it and would have done it again. I got home at 12:45.
Friday, I was woken at 8am to help mom take the cat to the vet. No problem, we have it streamlined. I just stood up out of bed, slipped on sandals, then picked up the cat from my bed, wrapped him in the blanket he was sleeping on, and carried him to the car. [laughs] I sleep in clothes, silly! We got home at 9:30. I prepared for the day and went to pick up Kat at 10:45, to take her to her mom's office so her mom could drive her to the airport. However, her mom hadn't had time to get lunch, so we had to get lunch, meaning Little Caesar's pizza. Back at the office, I got to chat with Kat's mom's coworkers; I think they prefer Raph to me, because he's an aggie, and they're mostly married to aggies. Oh, and the fact that they hope he and Kat get married doesn't hurt his case. [laughs] I went grocery shopping for ingredients (more on that later), and I got home at 1:30; I had to leave at 2:30 to get Ian at school at 3:15. I got there shortly after 3, and he was already waiting, because whatever would have kept him 15 minutes didn't happen. However, I had to go talk to the guidance counselor secretary for mom, so we didn't get out of there till 3:20 anyway. I drove him home, speeding, and dropped him off, leaving immediately to pick up Michelle to take her to the airport. Traffic sucked more on the first half than the second half, so we were worried, but it turned out alright. I got keys and gate-clicker for her apartment to house-sit. She told me where to find the catfood and how often they are fed, and we laughed about the party with strippers that I was not allowed to have (and would not have had anyway...and did not have, if you were wondering). I got home in time to check email, sit down to dinner (steak), shower, and run off to midnight rodeo before 9 so I could get in for free. This was Cassie's party celebrating that her divorce is finally final, and unfortunately, she only had 3 friends show up. There were a bunch of family members, and dance class people that always come on fridays, and all the strangers, but still. A funny story: There were two girls talking very familiarly with our dance teachers (there socially on fridays), and nobody knew who they were. Being curious, I went up, greeted our teachers, were introduced to the girls, chatted, brought them back to my friends (as always [laughs]), etc. Swing music came on, so I turned to one of them, and asked, "Do you swing?" and she replied, "I'm married." I said, "Um...dance?" and she replied, "Oh, no, I'm not drunk enough to dance yet." Some people heard this exchange, but not the whole group (including the other girl). I turn to the other girl and ask, "Would you like to swing?" and she replies, "Um...well, sure." Someone adds, "Dance?" and she says, "Oh, no, not dancing. Sorry." [laughs] Yah, totally the wrong crowd. They headed out shortly after, and we waved but didn't talk again. Anyway, Drew ended up leaving at 12:15 because he was really tired from working all week, and I headed out at 12:45. I left a party early! Yes, true, no lie. I was exhausted from all that driving, and I wasn't enjoying the evening. I went to Michelle's to feed her cats, opened the door...and the alarm beeped at me. Crap, I didn't know the code! I called her real fast, but not fast enough; I had to jump back out the door when the alarm started screaming at me. And then she wasn't there. Ugh! I tried two more times, waiting outside for a couple minutes, then sitting in the car until either it went off on its own or a police officer arrived. It finally turned off on its own, and I headed home (after re-locking the door, of course). (It turns out that a friend from A&M might have been there and turned it off...it would have been nice to know that before hand! [sighs and shrugs]) She called and gave me the code as I was turning onto my street. [rolls his eyes] I got to sleep around 1:45.
Saturday I had work at 8:30, before which I had to feed the cats. It was a long day, but I could have gotten out of there at 4:05...except that mom and I had expected me to be working until 5, and she had to drop Ian at school at 4:30, and if she picked me up before taking him, I would have been in the car for the ride anyway and saved no time. So she picked me up around 5, with me running around alternating 3 things: looking out the window hoping she'd show, talking to Sophia and Bill in the pro-shop, and chopping vegetables to save time at home. I went ahead and diced up 2 red onions and 2 green bell peppers (at separate times, because I didn't want mom to be waiting on me) to save time dicing the ones I had at home. I brought back to work the ones I had at home on monday (I forgot on sunday). I got home and immediately began cooking enchiladas. First the meat (1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef and a pound of ground sirloin, mixed together because I was in a rush) browned in a big pot, while mom did dishes to clear space and I diced two more peppers, an orange one and a yellow one. Drain the meat, add all peppers and onions, 2 cans rotel tomatoes, 1 small can of finely chopped olive, 2 cans of enchilada sauce, 1 red and 1 green, and 2 pounds of grated cheddar. I may be forgetting something, but I let it all stew, stirred half the time, seasoned with coriander (my favorite), garlic and something else that mom thought wouldn't work but totally did. It ended up being enough for 3 pans-worth (1 big glass pan, 1 smaller glass pan, and one foil to-go pan) and a little left over for mom to eat as soup. I used another green sauce and a big can of red sauce for the tortillas and pouring on top, along with 4 pounds of grated 4-cheese blend. I got directions online to Vanessa's for her birthday party...and she lives 2 minutes from my church! (I met her downtown, for tango, so that is ironic). I then ran out the door, with instructions for mom to cook it long enough to melt the cheese, taking the big glass pan and the to-go pan to cook at her house. The party was very fun, but was half tango-people and half non-dancers [laughs] We socialed well but still tended to segregate. My enchiladas were one of many dishes, including fresh crab, fancy tortillini, a noodle dish, deviled eggs, and assorted candies, chips and veggies with various sauces in which to dip the latter two. Her parents are Iranian, but spent a significant amount of time in France, so her dad is highly skilled in french cuisine. Everything was delicious! So, the languages spoken at the party: english, french, farsi, and russian. And the crowd went through a lot of margaritas and sodas, but not as much hard alcohol as they had expected. Oh, and to note, I was the second youngest person there...the youngest was a 5-year old...until Dima, the guy who works at Crossroads, arrived at 1am (he's a couple years younger than me). It was different and nice. Oh, and her father, when it is cold out, always has a fire going in the back on weekends. So, being me, I was out by the fire a lot of the time, and playing with the toy pool table a lot of the time, socializing. The 5 year old learned some pool and some fire safety...his mother (Angela, whom I met at the tango pianist concert a while back) had not intended to get him into either. [laughs] Anyway, when the party was wrapping up around 2:30, I took the to-go box enchiladas out of the fridge (we hadn't needed them; there was a serving and a half left in the glass pan) and turned back on the oven. Vanessa's father and AJ, the other person who stayed to the very end, thought I was joking [laughs] but no, I cooked them and took them to midnight rodeo (got there at 3:15, speeding a lot) for the staff, closing up. I hope it got warm all the way through, but I won't know till I talk to them tomorrow. Then I went and fed the cats (and scooped the cat box, because it looked bad), and got home and asleep by 4:15.
Sunday, I had work at 8:30. I was in charge, with James the new guy. It was totally dead the first half of the day, so much so that we were worried about getting in trouble for having 2 people there. Then, at 12:15 or so, we got slammed, and James and I were on line solidly till 2:15 (we like to start cleaning up around 2 on normal days, 3 on saturdays, because we're open an extra hour). But we totally handled the rush, and we were very proud of ourselves. Turned out it was the baseball game, Astros vs. Braves, that attracted more than half of our lunch rush. The game highlights of our team (Astros) included a grand slam homerun at some point, and then in the bottom of the 9th, 2 outs, 2 strikes, a homerun scoring two runs that tied the game, and then the game went to a record-breaking 18th inning, in which one of our rookies hit a homerun to win the game. And, another crazy aspect of the game, the same person caught the grand slam homerun ball and the game-ending homerun ball, both of which he donated to the hall of fame because they were record-breakers. Most of this I did not learn until later, because I got home from work just in time to change, gather materials, and head to church for a meeting with my LifeTeen planning sub-group, then church, then swing dancing at the Melody club. However, Amy's friends ended up either not getting back to her or not being able to go, and the other LifeTeen core members that I invited didn't come to that mass, so we had to go without them, picking up Vanessa on the way. We ended up getting there halfway through the swing lesson, nothing I didn't know but good for both girls, and I was right in needing my checkbook [grins at having the forethought to take it]. Stefan and Lisa were both there; Lisa left early, Stefan stayed late, along with Aramus and Haley (the co-presidents of the Rice Swing Dance Society), and the 6 of us went to a place called Mama's for dinner (mostly american and mexican food). I had a burger, a side of corn, and a strawberry shake; they were all good. However, we realized the time too late to get Amy home on time (midnight), and the check took forever. In the parking lot, Aramus showed us a move to literally sweep a girl off her feet into your arms. Stefan tried it on Vanessa, and I tried it on Haley and Vanessa (it was harder for me to get, besides my hesitency to try lifts). Aramus did it to an unsuspecting Amy, who was mad but expected to be set down...but was passed to Stefan, who passed her to me. She was mad, but expected me to set her down. I almost did, but in the spirit of fun (oh how you make fools of us!), I passed her back to Aramus. At this point, she realized she'd have to fight, and she struggled, was half-dropped, landing on her feet but off-balance, and ended up falling and scraping her hand in getting away. At this point, I was mentally beating myself for stupidity. We left shortly after, and she had to talk away the edge of her anger. I don't feel bad about the anger (which goes away) or the cut hand (which heals), but I broke her trust, and that's something that doesn't heal, never entirely, and I really wish I hadn't. I mean, it may seem a minor incident, blogger, but trust is all in a person's perception. There is a saying, "if a dog bites you once, it's the dog's fault; twice, it's your fault." It applies to everything, and it is the person's own perception of what is considered "bitten", because even something which seemed minor to us may be considered a bite by someone else, and once they feel that way, then they are less-trustful: cautious, fearful at times, suspicious at other times, less-free, less-open. In general, it sucks. In particular, it's something that I know personally, from both sides, and wish on no one, and strive to avoid with all the foresight I have. My actions for the past 3 1/2 years have been directly influenced by a trust that I broke, because she did not deserve it, and I wanted a relationship in which there was no mistrust, and I feel that I have not been perfect, but that I have not broken that trust again. This is another situation in which I value Amy's relationship, which could most accurately be described as big-brotherly, in all the positive connotations, and so now I have to strive to not break her trust again. [sighs] men are scum or idiots. mantra: men are scum or idiots... Anyway, so I got Amy home by 12:45, and Vanessa home by 1. We stood outside talking for a while, and the car started making "why have I been idling this long!" noises, so I turned it off and we went inside to talk, ending up talking till 4am [laughs]. I crossed the threshold of her doorway just as the clock started chiming 4, in fact. I love good conversations. If you know me personally (or can gather from how I blog), I can talk all day and night, talking myself hoarse if (when) I get the chance. [laughs] Home and asleep by 4:30.
Monday, I had work at 8:30. [laughs] Yes, I know, I'm stupid and/or insane. I also had to feed the cats before work, since I hadn't done it sunday night. I was working with Charles, so I thought "no problem" with the few things we needed to do. Oh, no, of course not. Charles came in, really out of it, with personal problems. He wouldn't really talk about it, but he was having issues with Amber, his girlfriend, or something. I'm not quite sure what. He made the soup (thankfully!) and messed with the salads, and he helped me on line when we were busy (twice), but lucky for us both that it was raining and we had very little business, so he didn't really need to focus on work, and I didn't really need him to either. He did the order (distractedly [sighs] so a couple things weren't right; it's ok, with all the stuff you have to keep track of, and the 4 different people/businesses we order from, I'm just glad he does it as well as he does. Two mistakes when his mind was totally elsewhere isn't that bad) and then left early, getting picked up by Amber, despite his wanting to be alone the rest of the day. Blah blah, mom picked me up, and I had to take her home, dropping her at the driveway and leaving straight to get Michelle from the airport. I took Michelle by Randalls for groceries, so she could cook dinner, since she was cooking dinner for Drew (their second date, if you will...I'm not quite sure what is going on there, since neither will talk about it much), and I got a gift of variety liquor-filled chocolates of Michelle's all-time favorite brand (local to Vegas, I forget the name). I went ahead and headed home and sat down for somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes, consolidating phone numbers into my phone/address file and the cell phone's contacts list. No one wanted to go to jazz with me (Kat is out of town with Raph; she's the reason I found the jazz in the first place. I like jazz, but I probably wouldn't have gone last week if not for her, and if not last week, I wouldn't have gone this week) so I took my book and went alone. It was very enjoyable, alternately sitting reading or sitting relaxing to experimental jazz. The group last week was a drummer, an upright bass, and an acoustic guitar. This week was the same drummer and bass player, who play together all the time, and a saxophonist with whom they rarely work it sounded. He had 2 sax's, alto and tenor or bari if I had to guess, though I have no real idea, and he had a recorder, and something that looked like a wooden flute with a sax mouth. He was pretty good at playing, playing two simultaneously at points, and using the recorder, flute-thing and/or a water bottle as a mute half the time. Unfortunately, he wasn't that good at working with the other two, so the pieces that they had practiced, or that were showcasing him, were better. He got better by the end of the night. Afterward, there was a more mainstream jazz band upstairs that may be more what Kat is interested in, but wasn't my style really. They sounded like something that would play in a salsa club, almost, with a sax, drums, keyboard, electric bass, and a mixer or recorder (couldn't tell which) off to the side. I liked the freedom of rhythm and tempo of the downstairs (first) group, and didn't like the upstairs (second) group well enough to stay for more than 2 songs. I got home and went straight to bed at 12:15.
And Tuesday, this morning, I worked at 8:30, with Matt, a good and fairly normal truck-delivery day, looking forward to coming home and doing nothing [laughs]. At work, I was talking with Matt and got disgusted with him. No, it wasn't with him, I realized a little later, but with society and people in general. I put up with so much in other people, immorality and amorality that I wouldn't accept in myself, vices and foibles and character flaws that I try my best to look beyond. It's so hard though. It's funny what some people find "untolerable". At the restaurant after swing dancing, there was a discussion about what level of service warrants an extra-good tip and what warrants a bad tip. Aramus asked me which I found more insulting, no tip or an intentionally tiny tip like small coins. To me, it's no tip, because I would never not tip; it's part of their salary. For me to not tip would be like throwing down the guantlet; it would not happen because of merely poor service, and it would not happen because of bad service from only a single person, and I would never eat there again. Aramus and Stefan were going back and forth talking about how if the server doesn't come refill his water without asking, or ask at least once if he's doing alright, the server doesn't deserve a full tip. I remember a while back, Kat was talking about smokers, saying, "It's not that I won't put up with it, it's that I shouldn't have to put up with it." But what a person should have to put up with and what a person does have to put up with is determined by social consensus, which is self-centered and hedonistic and ultimately self-destructive. I agree, people are deserving of pity for their vices and mistakes, but that does not condone the action(s). I agree, judging people is snobby of me...but I can't just accept everything. I do because I'm nice. I don't have to. I shouldn't have to. Too often do people say, "I couldn't help it," or,"it's not my problem," or, "it's not my decision," or, "it's not my responsibility." Yah, and that's why I despise you. Because you won't take responsibility for the fact that you influence other people, allowing them to fall because it's fun for you, allowing yourself to give in to stupidity and then, knowingly, outside of the situation in which you became stupid, continuing to act stupidly. [sighs] I understand, and I've been there. Your brain stops functioning, and you want to stop and hold it all at arm's length so you can see from a perspective that might help you see how to undo the damage, get to a better situation, but there's no such thing, so you agonize over a decision for which you already know what you want to do but can't. But no, I'm talking about two different things. If you don't know, don't ask. But men are scum or idiots. I despise the first and pity the second. Women are more complex, but they still fall into general categories of despiccable and pitiable. So few, men or women, that fall into neither fully, walking the thin line between them, doing the impossible balancing act that makes them lovable. I'm not depressed, blogger. I just wish people weren't so fucked up.
Wednesday I had no work, and the plan was to pick up Kristy at 5:30, then head over to pick up Drew for dinner and midnight rodeo. Well, Kristy and I changed our plan and I went over in the early afternoon (1ish?) and we went to the mall window-shopping, then she made me watch The Ghost and Mr. Chicken, starring the guy from the Andy Griffith show, the one so good at looking awkward. Drew's plans changed because he had to work on something starting around 4, and stay there working until it was done, and he had no idea when it would end. Jake and Corinne needed rides as well (which was not really unexpected), and Drew sounded as though he would drive himself to dance class, whenever he got the chance. However, he changed plans, and instead of going home, went to my house after work (much closer to work and midnight rodeo) to shower and change into clothes he bought at Walmart on the way. I met him there, with Kristy, Jake and Corinne in tow, and I recieved an early birthday present: plaid pants. They're brown primarily, and they're khaki-pants material, so comfortable, and I was forced to wear them. Actually, they did look good. They still aren't my first choice of pants, but I can see myself wearing them again (which I would not do so if I hadn't worn them that first time). Anyway, midnight rodeo was midnight rodeo, with lots of people, and craziness, and whatever. The rest of the night was less memorable, except that Michelle brought a whole lot of coworkers this week, and she and Drew spent a lot of time talking and having fun. I had fun, but not memorable fun [laughs]. I much preferred the friend-time with Kristy earlier in the day, as midnight rodeo has gotten too hectic to be considered "hanging out" with anyone. On the drive home, I noticed that the brakes felt a little funny. Considering that they have been squeeling continuously for the past couple months (not just when braking), I didn't deem it "pull off the road and stop driving" important, but wanted to wake up the next day and get the brakes looked at finally. However...
Thursday I slept in, and when I woke up, mom was already gone out on errands and whatnot. I hit myself for not getting the brakes taken care of, but figured it would be ok. I proceeded to get on the computer, then mow the yard, and when I finished mowing, there was a message from mom. The car had started making horrible horrible noises, and she took it to brake check. Something besides the brake pads had gone out, and the alignment of the brakes had been off anyway. Half of each pad was worn, while the other half was dusty...eek! Anyway, I worked from 7-9pm doing dishes for a party, and I had to have Matt come pick me up while I showered. After work, I was picked up, got home, walked in and called Amy to see if she wanted to do tango, she did, I picked her up, and we went. Crossroads, at 10:30ish...we were the 4th and 5th people to get there, one not a dancer, closely followed by Vanessa. So, it was Derek and Miles, Amy and I, and Vanessa, and the father and son who run it wednesday nights. We had good talking, good dancing, but they kicked us out early at 11:25 to take advantage of the slow night to close early. It was very nice, and while I wouldn't say Worth the drive, I enjoyed it and would have done it again. I got home at 12:45.
Friday, I was woken at 8am to help mom take the cat to the vet. No problem, we have it streamlined. I just stood up out of bed, slipped on sandals, then picked up the cat from my bed, wrapped him in the blanket he was sleeping on, and carried him to the car. [laughs] I sleep in clothes, silly! We got home at 9:30. I prepared for the day and went to pick up Kat at 10:45, to take her to her mom's office so her mom could drive her to the airport. However, her mom hadn't had time to get lunch, so we had to get lunch, meaning Little Caesar's pizza. Back at the office, I got to chat with Kat's mom's coworkers; I think they prefer Raph to me, because he's an aggie, and they're mostly married to aggies. Oh, and the fact that they hope he and Kat get married doesn't hurt his case. [laughs] I went grocery shopping for ingredients (more on that later), and I got home at 1:30; I had to leave at 2:30 to get Ian at school at 3:15. I got there shortly after 3, and he was already waiting, because whatever would have kept him 15 minutes didn't happen. However, I had to go talk to the guidance counselor secretary for mom, so we didn't get out of there till 3:20 anyway. I drove him home, speeding, and dropped him off, leaving immediately to pick up Michelle to take her to the airport. Traffic sucked more on the first half than the second half, so we were worried, but it turned out alright. I got keys and gate-clicker for her apartment to house-sit. She told me where to find the catfood and how often they are fed, and we laughed about the party with strippers that I was not allowed to have (and would not have had anyway...and did not have, if you were wondering). I got home in time to check email, sit down to dinner (steak), shower, and run off to midnight rodeo before 9 so I could get in for free. This was Cassie's party celebrating that her divorce is finally final, and unfortunately, she only had 3 friends show up. There were a bunch of family members, and dance class people that always come on fridays, and all the strangers, but still. A funny story: There were two girls talking very familiarly with our dance teachers (there socially on fridays), and nobody knew who they were. Being curious, I went up, greeted our teachers, were introduced to the girls, chatted, brought them back to my friends (as always [laughs]), etc. Swing music came on, so I turned to one of them, and asked, "Do you swing?" and she replied, "I'm married." I said, "Um...dance?" and she replied, "Oh, no, I'm not drunk enough to dance yet." Some people heard this exchange, but not the whole group (including the other girl). I turn to the other girl and ask, "Would you like to swing?" and she replies, "Um...well, sure." Someone adds, "Dance?" and she says, "Oh, no, not dancing. Sorry." [laughs] Yah, totally the wrong crowd. They headed out shortly after, and we waved but didn't talk again. Anyway, Drew ended up leaving at 12:15 because he was really tired from working all week, and I headed out at 12:45. I left a party early! Yes, true, no lie. I was exhausted from all that driving, and I wasn't enjoying the evening. I went to Michelle's to feed her cats, opened the door...and the alarm beeped at me. Crap, I didn't know the code! I called her real fast, but not fast enough; I had to jump back out the door when the alarm started screaming at me. And then she wasn't there. Ugh! I tried two more times, waiting outside for a couple minutes, then sitting in the car until either it went off on its own or a police officer arrived. It finally turned off on its own, and I headed home (after re-locking the door, of course). (It turns out that a friend from A&M might have been there and turned it off...it would have been nice to know that before hand! [sighs and shrugs]) She called and gave me the code as I was turning onto my street. [rolls his eyes] I got to sleep around 1:45.
Saturday I had work at 8:30, before which I had to feed the cats. It was a long day, but I could have gotten out of there at 4:05...except that mom and I had expected me to be working until 5, and she had to drop Ian at school at 4:30, and if she picked me up before taking him, I would have been in the car for the ride anyway and saved no time. So she picked me up around 5, with me running around alternating 3 things: looking out the window hoping she'd show, talking to Sophia and Bill in the pro-shop, and chopping vegetables to save time at home. I went ahead and diced up 2 red onions and 2 green bell peppers (at separate times, because I didn't want mom to be waiting on me) to save time dicing the ones I had at home. I brought back to work the ones I had at home on monday (I forgot on sunday). I got home and immediately began cooking enchiladas. First the meat (1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef and a pound of ground sirloin, mixed together because I was in a rush) browned in a big pot, while mom did dishes to clear space and I diced two more peppers, an orange one and a yellow one. Drain the meat, add all peppers and onions, 2 cans rotel tomatoes, 1 small can of finely chopped olive, 2 cans of enchilada sauce, 1 red and 1 green, and 2 pounds of grated cheddar. I may be forgetting something, but I let it all stew, stirred half the time, seasoned with coriander (my favorite), garlic and something else that mom thought wouldn't work but totally did. It ended up being enough for 3 pans-worth (1 big glass pan, 1 smaller glass pan, and one foil to-go pan) and a little left over for mom to eat as soup. I used another green sauce and a big can of red sauce for the tortillas and pouring on top, along with 4 pounds of grated 4-cheese blend. I got directions online to Vanessa's for her birthday party...and she lives 2 minutes from my church! (I met her downtown, for tango, so that is ironic). I then ran out the door, with instructions for mom to cook it long enough to melt the cheese, taking the big glass pan and the to-go pan to cook at her house. The party was very fun, but was half tango-people and half non-dancers [laughs] We socialed well but still tended to segregate. My enchiladas were one of many dishes, including fresh crab, fancy tortillini, a noodle dish, deviled eggs, and assorted candies, chips and veggies with various sauces in which to dip the latter two. Her parents are Iranian, but spent a significant amount of time in France, so her dad is highly skilled in french cuisine. Everything was delicious! So, the languages spoken at the party: english, french, farsi, and russian. And the crowd went through a lot of margaritas and sodas, but not as much hard alcohol as they had expected. Oh, and to note, I was the second youngest person there...the youngest was a 5-year old...until Dima, the guy who works at Crossroads, arrived at 1am (he's a couple years younger than me). It was different and nice. Oh, and her father, when it is cold out, always has a fire going in the back on weekends. So, being me, I was out by the fire a lot of the time, and playing with the toy pool table a lot of the time, socializing. The 5 year old learned some pool and some fire safety...his mother (Angela, whom I met at the tango pianist concert a while back) had not intended to get him into either. [laughs] Anyway, when the party was wrapping up around 2:30, I took the to-go box enchiladas out of the fridge (we hadn't needed them; there was a serving and a half left in the glass pan) and turned back on the oven. Vanessa's father and AJ, the other person who stayed to the very end, thought I was joking [laughs] but no, I cooked them and took them to midnight rodeo (got there at 3:15, speeding a lot) for the staff, closing up. I hope it got warm all the way through, but I won't know till I talk to them tomorrow. Then I went and fed the cats (and scooped the cat box, because it looked bad), and got home and asleep by 4:15.
Sunday, I had work at 8:30. I was in charge, with James the new guy. It was totally dead the first half of the day, so much so that we were worried about getting in trouble for having 2 people there. Then, at 12:15 or so, we got slammed, and James and I were on line solidly till 2:15 (we like to start cleaning up around 2 on normal days, 3 on saturdays, because we're open an extra hour). But we totally handled the rush, and we were very proud of ourselves. Turned out it was the baseball game, Astros vs. Braves, that attracted more than half of our lunch rush. The game highlights of our team (Astros) included a grand slam homerun at some point, and then in the bottom of the 9th, 2 outs, 2 strikes, a homerun scoring two runs that tied the game, and then the game went to a record-breaking 18th inning, in which one of our rookies hit a homerun to win the game. And, another crazy aspect of the game, the same person caught the grand slam homerun ball and the game-ending homerun ball, both of which he donated to the hall of fame because they were record-breakers. Most of this I did not learn until later, because I got home from work just in time to change, gather materials, and head to church for a meeting with my LifeTeen planning sub-group, then church, then swing dancing at the Melody club. However, Amy's friends ended up either not getting back to her or not being able to go, and the other LifeTeen core members that I invited didn't come to that mass, so we had to go without them, picking up Vanessa on the way. We ended up getting there halfway through the swing lesson, nothing I didn't know but good for both girls, and I was right in needing my checkbook [grins at having the forethought to take it]. Stefan and Lisa were both there; Lisa left early, Stefan stayed late, along with Aramus and Haley (the co-presidents of the Rice Swing Dance Society), and the 6 of us went to a place called Mama's for dinner (mostly american and mexican food). I had a burger, a side of corn, and a strawberry shake; they were all good. However, we realized the time too late to get Amy home on time (midnight), and the check took forever. In the parking lot, Aramus showed us a move to literally sweep a girl off her feet into your arms. Stefan tried it on Vanessa, and I tried it on Haley and Vanessa (it was harder for me to get, besides my hesitency to try lifts). Aramus did it to an unsuspecting Amy, who was mad but expected to be set down...but was passed to Stefan, who passed her to me. She was mad, but expected me to set her down. I almost did, but in the spirit of fun (oh how you make fools of us!), I passed her back to Aramus. At this point, she realized she'd have to fight, and she struggled, was half-dropped, landing on her feet but off-balance, and ended up falling and scraping her hand in getting away. At this point, I was mentally beating myself for stupidity. We left shortly after, and she had to talk away the edge of her anger. I don't feel bad about the anger (which goes away) or the cut hand (which heals), but I broke her trust, and that's something that doesn't heal, never entirely, and I really wish I hadn't. I mean, it may seem a minor incident, blogger, but trust is all in a person's perception. There is a saying, "if a dog bites you once, it's the dog's fault; twice, it's your fault." It applies to everything, and it is the person's own perception of what is considered "bitten", because even something which seemed minor to us may be considered a bite by someone else, and once they feel that way, then they are less-trustful: cautious, fearful at times, suspicious at other times, less-free, less-open. In general, it sucks. In particular, it's something that I know personally, from both sides, and wish on no one, and strive to avoid with all the foresight I have. My actions for the past 3 1/2 years have been directly influenced by a trust that I broke, because she did not deserve it, and I wanted a relationship in which there was no mistrust, and I feel that I have not been perfect, but that I have not broken that trust again. This is another situation in which I value Amy's relationship, which could most accurately be described as big-brotherly, in all the positive connotations, and so now I have to strive to not break her trust again. [sighs] men are scum or idiots. mantra: men are scum or idiots... Anyway, so I got Amy home by 12:45, and Vanessa home by 1. We stood outside talking for a while, and the car started making "why have I been idling this long!" noises, so I turned it off and we went inside to talk, ending up talking till 4am [laughs]. I crossed the threshold of her doorway just as the clock started chiming 4, in fact. I love good conversations. If you know me personally (or can gather from how I blog), I can talk all day and night, talking myself hoarse if (when) I get the chance. [laughs] Home and asleep by 4:30.
Monday, I had work at 8:30. [laughs] Yes, I know, I'm stupid and/or insane. I also had to feed the cats before work, since I hadn't done it sunday night. I was working with Charles, so I thought "no problem" with the few things we needed to do. Oh, no, of course not. Charles came in, really out of it, with personal problems. He wouldn't really talk about it, but he was having issues with Amber, his girlfriend, or something. I'm not quite sure what. He made the soup (thankfully!) and messed with the salads, and he helped me on line when we were busy (twice), but lucky for us both that it was raining and we had very little business, so he didn't really need to focus on work, and I didn't really need him to either. He did the order (distractedly [sighs] so a couple things weren't right; it's ok, with all the stuff you have to keep track of, and the 4 different people/businesses we order from, I'm just glad he does it as well as he does. Two mistakes when his mind was totally elsewhere isn't that bad) and then left early, getting picked up by Amber, despite his wanting to be alone the rest of the day. Blah blah, mom picked me up, and I had to take her home, dropping her at the driveway and leaving straight to get Michelle from the airport. I took Michelle by Randalls for groceries, so she could cook dinner, since she was cooking dinner for Drew (their second date, if you will...I'm not quite sure what is going on there, since neither will talk about it much), and I got a gift of variety liquor-filled chocolates of Michelle's all-time favorite brand (local to Vegas, I forget the name). I went ahead and headed home and sat down for somewhere between 30 and 45 minutes, consolidating phone numbers into my phone/address file and the cell phone's contacts list. No one wanted to go to jazz with me (Kat is out of town with Raph; she's the reason I found the jazz in the first place. I like jazz, but I probably wouldn't have gone last week if not for her, and if not last week, I wouldn't have gone this week) so I took my book and went alone. It was very enjoyable, alternately sitting reading or sitting relaxing to experimental jazz. The group last week was a drummer, an upright bass, and an acoustic guitar. This week was the same drummer and bass player, who play together all the time, and a saxophonist with whom they rarely work it sounded. He had 2 sax's, alto and tenor or bari if I had to guess, though I have no real idea, and he had a recorder, and something that looked like a wooden flute with a sax mouth. He was pretty good at playing, playing two simultaneously at points, and using the recorder, flute-thing and/or a water bottle as a mute half the time. Unfortunately, he wasn't that good at working with the other two, so the pieces that they had practiced, or that were showcasing him, were better. He got better by the end of the night. Afterward, there was a more mainstream jazz band upstairs that may be more what Kat is interested in, but wasn't my style really. They sounded like something that would play in a salsa club, almost, with a sax, drums, keyboard, electric bass, and a mixer or recorder (couldn't tell which) off to the side. I liked the freedom of rhythm and tempo of the downstairs (first) group, and didn't like the upstairs (second) group well enough to stay for more than 2 songs. I got home and went straight to bed at 12:15.
And Tuesday, this morning, I worked at 8:30, with Matt, a good and fairly normal truck-delivery day, looking forward to coming home and doing nothing [laughs]. At work, I was talking with Matt and got disgusted with him. No, it wasn't with him, I realized a little later, but with society and people in general. I put up with so much in other people, immorality and amorality that I wouldn't accept in myself, vices and foibles and character flaws that I try my best to look beyond. It's so hard though. It's funny what some people find "untolerable". At the restaurant after swing dancing, there was a discussion about what level of service warrants an extra-good tip and what warrants a bad tip. Aramus asked me which I found more insulting, no tip or an intentionally tiny tip like small coins. To me, it's no tip, because I would never not tip; it's part of their salary. For me to not tip would be like throwing down the guantlet; it would not happen because of merely poor service, and it would not happen because of bad service from only a single person, and I would never eat there again. Aramus and Stefan were going back and forth talking about how if the server doesn't come refill his water without asking, or ask at least once if he's doing alright, the server doesn't deserve a full tip. I remember a while back, Kat was talking about smokers, saying, "It's not that I won't put up with it, it's that I shouldn't have to put up with it." But what a person should have to put up with and what a person does have to put up with is determined by social consensus, which is self-centered and hedonistic and ultimately self-destructive. I agree, people are deserving of pity for their vices and mistakes, but that does not condone the action(s). I agree, judging people is snobby of me...but I can't just accept everything. I do because I'm nice. I don't have to. I shouldn't have to. Too often do people say, "I couldn't help it," or,"it's not my problem," or, "it's not my decision," or, "it's not my responsibility." Yah, and that's why I despise you. Because you won't take responsibility for the fact that you influence other people, allowing them to fall because it's fun for you, allowing yourself to give in to stupidity and then, knowingly, outside of the situation in which you became stupid, continuing to act stupidly. [sighs] I understand, and I've been there. Your brain stops functioning, and you want to stop and hold it all at arm's length so you can see from a perspective that might help you see how to undo the damage, get to a better situation, but there's no such thing, so you agonize over a decision for which you already know what you want to do but can't. But no, I'm talking about two different things. If you don't know, don't ask. But men are scum or idiots. I despise the first and pity the second. Women are more complex, but they still fall into general categories of despiccable and pitiable. So few, men or women, that fall into neither fully, walking the thin line between them, doing the impossible balancing act that makes them lovable. I'm not depressed, blogger. I just wish people weren't so fucked up.
posted by Seventh_guest at
9:26 PM
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