So, this is the mood I'm in:

I can't stand to fly,
I'm not that naive,
I'm just out to find,
the better part of me.

I'm more than a bird,
I'm more than a plane,
I'm more than some, pretty face beside a train,
and it's not easy, to be me.

I wish that I could cry,
fall upon my knees,
find a way to lie,
'bout a home i'll never see.

It may sound absurd,
but don't be naive,
even heroes have, the right to bleed,
I may be disturbed, but won't you conceed,
even heroes have, the right to dream,
and it's not easy, to be me.

Up, up and away, away from me,
well it's alright,
you can all sleep sound tonight,
I'm not crazy, or anything.

I can't stand to fly,
I'm not that naive,
men weren't meant to ride,
with clouds between their knees.

I'm only a man, in a silly red sheet,
digging for kryptonite, on this one way street.
Only a man, in a funny red sheet,
looking for special things, inside of me
inside of meeeeeeeee
inside of meeeeee
inside of meeeeeeeee
inside of meeeeee

I'm only a man, in a funny red sheet,
I'm only a man, looking for a dream,
I'm only a man, in a funny red sheet,
and its not easy....
oooo
ooo
ooooo
It's not easy, to be, meee......

(Superman, by Five for Fighting, by the way)

I've been down because I want to be superman. Not in the sense most people do, being invincible, powers of flight, super strength and vision, etc. No, I want people to treat me as the guy who can fix the problem, and my have the ability to fix the problem, whatever the problem may be. And you know what? I'm never going to be that. I'm never going to have the ability to solve almost all problems, much less be recognized as someone who wants to help solve problems. And that makes me sad. No, I mean, seriously sad. Like crying sad, or crying inside sad, since I haven't managed to cry recently and it sucks. But, while spending my time drowning my sorrows with alcohol and music and dancing and socializing, I was talking to Cassandra and realized that I'm a champion of something that no one will ever think of. I'm the champion of dreams. Not the guy who can help you make them come true. No, I'm the guy who helps you to dream, helps remind you that dreams are good, and possible, and necessary. I'm the guy that helps remind you that what you see around you right now, isn't all there is, isn't what has to be, isn't what will be. I help remind you that innocence isn't dead, or outdated, or even naive. I help remind you of the value and attraction of childishness, of simple joys and laughs. I help remind you that the world has some good in it. I don't claim to be the superman of that department, but I do know that I'm one of few who actively pursues such a goal. I don't always succeed, but I don't always fail. I'm not always happy with myself, but I can almost always be proud. I can't convince you of the importance of what I do, nor even defend my life in terms of it, but it's who I am, and it's something I can hold on to, and that's what matters to me. I need sleep now, blogger. [smiles] Goodnight.