I'm loving Sarasota. The warmth of the ocean water is wonderful. I'm eagerly awaiting moving into my new place; I'm delayed by the ex-roommate taking her sweet time to move out. My new life. I miss you, but I'm glad I'm here. Life is too short to ignore the present. I can't express how in love I am, nor how much my life is richer for it.

So I've eaten well today. Thelma had to cancel lunch plans because she was stuck in training and it was catered. So I had turkish food, a farewell to a restaurant I really like called The Istanbul Grill. Also a farewell to turkish food, since I doubt I'll get much in Sarasota [laughs]. I hung out with Kat, hit up two half-price bookstores and got several things, including the Assassin trilogy by Robin Hobbs, which was recommended me by Grace quite some time back. I have soooo many things to read that I don't know when I'll ever actually catch up [laughs]. Oh well, I like my books. We had dinner with Miranda and her boyfriend Jake, pre-made lasagna, fresh-made garlic bread, and salad with tomatoes and carrots (I cut the tomato, because it was soft and they were afraid of mashing it). It was really nice, both the food and the conversation. They've been dating a couple months and both know they've found something wonderful, and they're already talking about getting a ring. He's a firefighter and she's a music teacher, and they're adorable together. So many of my friends are falling headlong into love--Irina and her David, Miranda and her Jake, Mikael and Alisha (sp?) from Havok, Natalie and Ernesto before and after their lifechanging experience. All of them rushed headlong into their relationships because they recognized them as being wonderful things, despite previous experience or previously held beliefs. And I'm moving to Florida for the same reason. Will we get married? Who knows, the future will come. I'm too busy being hopelessly in love and crazily packing to worry about that. [laughs] Well, time to make my room stop looking like my room. It looks like a skeleton right now, but I'm going to take it apart entirely. Everything that doesn't require two people. [laughs] I never think I'm strong, and then I carry things that other people whine about being too heavy. Ask not for super strength, but ask for the strength to carry all the burdens you are given, right? [laughs] I love you, God. I love you too, Lara. And mom and dad, and those two guys I had to share a house with, and all the friends and family who were there for me when I needed it, and the friends and family who weren't but tried, and the friends and family that would have been if they'd known. Be well, be strong, have faith, and love constantly. And eat good food. Because everything is easier with a well-fed stomach.

I was right...the more I throw away, the better I feel [laughs]. I mean, the more empty space there is in my room, the better I feel. I have to clear out most of it...Ian took the top bunk bed, and I'm taking the bottom. I'm taking the credenza, the two short file cabinets, one bookshelf, the makeshift table my computer is sitting on, and the narrow dresser drawers. Ian is also taking the red and white dresser. So, we're leaving three half-tall bookshelves and the linen closet. I guess the room will actually be turned into a den or something. Crazy...

I can't wait to leave. I also can't wait until my family leaves [laughs]. They're leaving sometime tomorrow to take Ian to school, so I'm working to clear all the stuff he's taking. It's a big pain in the butt. But then I'll have the house to myself until mom and dad get back sometime wednesday evening (I'm guessing). Lara is looking for housing for me right now. I called back one person, but I got an answering machine. I'm going to try again when I get back from my haircut, since he may not have returned my call, since it's long distance. [sighs] And I've eaten twice in the last 5 hours, but my stomach keeps giving me ambiguous signals that may or may not be hunger, may or may not be irritation. I hate being a biological thing sometimes. And by "sometimes", I mean often.

I found this in a journal entry from last september. I thought it funny, considering another friend's current plights.

"It is not the difficulty that makes a relationship fail, but the unwillingness to do whatever is necessary to make it work, meaning undeserved forgiveness, unasked for sacrifices, even unrequited love."

I don't mean one of you, but both people have to do this. Because then you both have the same goal, which is not avoiding trouble, but is making the relationship stronger and better. And it applies to friendships as well. Of course it always has to be weighed against whether or not the relationship is worth this level. But when it is, there's nothing you can do but do it or get scared and quit. [shakes his head] I think Cupid needs to stop being such an ass and look at the people he's shooting, so that everyone can find their perfect mate, and not just someone to share their life with despite the misery and pain they cause each other.

I know "execrable" means "deplorable, of extremely bad quality, or hateful", but I really always think it means, simply, "crappy". When I think something is execrable, I imagine monkeys flinging poo at it. I can't help it! Today is execrable. I took Ian to DPS to get his drivers licence renewed. I dropped him off at 11:30, went to work and picked up my paycheck, and since it was pretty busy, helped them out with some little things that made their lives easier. They still haven't replaced me [rolls his eyes]. Joe asked when I was leaving, and when I said next thursday, he said, "Well, you could have worked another week!" No, no I couldn't. I got back to DPS around 12:45 I guess, and Ian hadn't read much of the book I lended him. We talked, I drew a celtic knot, let him doodle while I read, and we finally got finished at 2:45. Yes, he was in line for more than three hours. Ugh! Now, I'm home looking at the mess that is my room thinking how much I want to burn everything not book-shaped (I don't burn books). And I have to go out for some errands or another, the bank, momma sue's to see if Ian or I wants any of her furniture, "shopping" because it's the back-to-school tax free weekend. At least I need some new long sleeve button-ups that I can use for work and such. I'm mostly bored with the ones I have. [sighs] And it would be nice if people said hello now and then. But then again, I've said goodbye, so they think there's nothing more to say, n'est pas? I don't intend to drop off all my friendships just because I'm moving and suck at calling people. It's like the bookshelves of things I'm not taking. I'm trying to make sure I can find them again in the future, though I'm not going to be reading them again in the near future. [sighs] It doesn't help that mom is freaking out about Ian going to College. Did she freak out like this for me? I can't even remember. I stopped worrying already. I just want to go.

So yah, it's quite a task inputting all of your books into an Excel spreadsheet. Especially when you have a habit of reading anything in your hands. It's a great way to procrastinate, re-reading a book over the course of 4 hours. [sighs and shakes his head] At least I started in the middle of it, Ender's Shadow. I remember the beginning enough to skip it to get to Battle School. I remembered him improvising more than that; I must have remembered Ender's Game too, which coincides Ender's Shadow following the more important character. But yah, I'm up to 320, and I still have two bookshelves and a tall pile and whatever is on Raph's bed to put into the computer, so I'm fairly sure I'll surpass the 500 mark I guessed at before. [laughs] Yes, I'm a nerd. If you didn't know before, you know now.